Myriad Randomness Redux

Random stuff and things, our semi regular homage to Herb Caen

In the category of not ready for the Oscars part 1: cut the fat.  When the party planner tells you that your movie should be 5-7 minutes, cutting it from 16 minutes to 14 is a serious lapse of judgment and shows the world how egotistical you are.  By minute 3 you had already lost more than half the audience.  And yes, 75% of the photos could have been cut out and it would have been much better.  We didn’t need the extreme reputation in your great work.  Yes, people were laughing at you.

More BART Rudeness.  When you stand up to let the guy next to the window up, take his seat.  Does your backpack really need its own seat during rush hour Mr. Shitty Purple Shirt with a bad comb over?  On a lighter note I got stuck the other day behind a young couple and their five (5!) kids each with their own rolling suitcase.  I didn’t really care, the kids were cute.  Now can we talk about birth control?

Political Animals in West.  In the last 3 days I had two different family members ask me if I knew who Nate Silver was.  Answer yes I do.  Then they asked if understood the significance of his blog 8something.com.  Answer yes.  Its 538 and it’s the number of members of Electoral College.    No I won’t out them, they know who they are.  I guess I should admit it only came to my attention about a month before the election, but then you knew I wasn’t a political junkie.

Rolling Deathtraps.  Do you know what to do when the power goes off and the traffic signals are out?  That’s right, treat it like a 4-way stop.  Clearly most of Oakland does not.  4 different cars nearly T-boned us blowing through lights that were out.  But the capper was the little old lady that kept slamming on her breaks while the lights worked, every time a semi appeared – and STOPPED!—to her right.  How we didn’t hit her is amazing.  She was never in any danger and I was not driving.

Food and Stuff.   The food at B-Sides BBQ is great.  Had the pulled chicken sandwich today.  I can vouch for the ribs, brisket and mac and cheese.  The neighborhood is a bit sketchy.  Think of it as a classic people, I mean hobo, watching neighborhood.  They are open for dinner now, with a full bar.  Good stuff.

Back to the Oscars.  I think showing pictures of your daughter with her deceased great grandparents is appropriate and endearing.  HOWEVER, giving them their own section of a movie and making sure the audience knows “here come dead people” is just fucking wrong.  I don’t care how tastefully you think you’ve worded it, you can’t.  And the picture of her with one of her great grandparents on their hospice bed is beyond creepy and it should not be for public viewing.  Clearly someone’s “shame” gene is missing.

Sports and Religion part 1.  We all know someone who is checking the score of the game during religious services.  Most of them sit well away from the front.  When you sit in the front row AND it is your daughter’s big game, you have flunked discretion 101.  And when you flash signs to your daughter who should be concentrating on what she is doing, you have failed parenting 101.  Layer on that it’s not a top 10 college team and this isn’t the south or Texas.  If you play the “they are top 25” card, you have only put sharp sticks in the hole you previously dug.   I hope you are never on a jury because you clearly have no ability process what is right and what’s wrong.

Sports and Religion part 2.  When you are on the bema, don’t have the game in your ear.  And when your team shits the bed, don’t moan and scream “NO!”  Everyone already thinks poorly of you, do you really want to be deported?  We know you don’t care what your family thinks of you, now you’ve announced it to the rest of the world.

Religious Etiquette.  Your daughter’s big day is not the day to direct the spot light from her an onto your family and how great the previous generations of your family have been.  2 sentences would have been plenty.  Everyone saw the 4 pages of notes you had on how great your family was, while ignoring the other side of your daughter’s family.  It went so far that I believe that your family was embarrassed at how ugly your attitude was.  It was your daughter’s day.  At least the rest of her family knew it and made sure that she knew it.  You kept making it about you.

Traffic to avoid.  The El Camino Real is horrible in rush hour.  At 5 pm on a Friday, it took 20 min to go 2 miles.  Imagine if Stanford had been at home.  Another reason to hate Stanford.

Seriously?  I guess I’m the only guy upset Cal fired Jeff Tedford.  Yes it’s a bad year.  Cal will never be USC and some ways we celebrate that. Best coach we’ve had in my lifetime.  Color me dismayed. In Blue and Gold.

Movie Review.  I know this won’t be as good as the NYT review of Guy Fieri’s new place, but let’s try shall we?  Length?  Only slightly shorter than the Lord of the Rings trilogy without the enjoyment.  Direction?  Between the bloat and the bad music, it was possible to see the horrid edits and transitions.    Plot development?  If it was a horror film, the creepy factor was over the roof.  That last section where you were in every picture, it seemed like something  John Hinkley wanted to give to Jodie Foster. As a reminder, they won’t be seeing this in Arkansas.  Let’s be honest, I’ve had more enjoyment with explosive fecal activity.  If your goal was to move the focus for a day to you, you accomplished it.  Yes, this was worse than Ishtar.  By a factor of a googleplex.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Turkey and well wishes to you and yours.

Advertisements
Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: